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Home/Satire - The Onion/Former Rep. Eric Swalwell Admits To ‘Physical Relations’ With Chinese Spy
Former Rep. Eric Swalwell Admits To ‘Physical Relations’ With Chinese Spy

Former Rep. Eric Swalwell Admits To ‘Physical Relations’ With Chinese Spy

August 24, 2026

Newly declassified documents show former Rep. Eric Swalwell admitted to the FBI that he had “physical relations” with a suspected Chinese spy on a handful of occasions. What do you think?

“Let’s not let geopolitics cheapen what they had.”

Soren Murnahan, Systems Analyst


“Sex is a healthy part of the spy-asset relationship.”

Wyatt Morales, Crowd Wrangler


“If China thinks Eric Swalwell is important, they can’t know that much.”

Freya Blankenship, Eraser Tester

The post Former Rep. Eric Swalwell Admits To ‘Physical Relations’ With Chinese Spy appeared first on The Onion.

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