A PHP Error was encountered

Severity: Notice

Message: Only variable references should be returned by reference

Filename: core/Common.php

Line Number: 257

Useless Facts - Humoro.us
Humoro.us - Submit your anonymous jokes here. We don't mind if they're really really bad.

Random Stupid Jokes

Listed below are five random bad jokes. Refresh the page to see more random bad jokes ;-)
  • A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal

    raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It takes all the strength he has

    left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs. He
    sees the
    cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As
    he reaches
    for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks
    his and she
    yells:
    "No, you can't have those! They're for the
    funeral!"
  • Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level. The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
  • |At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture. "What a great realist that painter is!" he exclaimed. "What painter?" "The one that painted this picture 'Soldiers at Work'." "Yes, hut something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren't working at all!" "That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!"
  • |Not much was given to me on this unlucky fellow, but he qualifies nonetheless. You see, there was a gentleman from Korea who was killed by his cell phone ... more or less. He was doing the usual "walking and talking" when he walked into a tree and managed to somehow break his neck. Keep that in mind the next time you decide to drive and dial at the same time.
  • |A note left for a pianist from his wifeGone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet